Food for Thought

As usual my blogs are a dump of information dying to get out of my head.  It's not meant to win any gramatical awards as I do not proofread.


This one may piss a few people off, but hey...Shrugs.



Every day I wake up to a different article about why it's so hard for educated black women or men or whomever to find love.  Sustainable love.

Well, I'm here to give answers.... actually my opinion, but that's what blogs are for right?  Opinions!?


I tend to simplify things so I'll simplify it even more right now.  Why do I feel It's so hard for sustained love in the black community?  There's no Need!

-

-

-

Ok, I wanted the simplicity to seep in a bit before I elaborated on my thoughts.  First thought is "sustained."  Lust, infatuation, and wants are easy...but is it sustainable?  I want to drill down on that thought...Sustainable.  We all come from different walks of life.  Some of us were brought up in a two-parent household, others were raised by one parent, some of us were raised by our grandparents and so on.  This affects us in good as well as bad ways and in the end, a little favor is still needed!  The favor to not only come in contact with what is beneficial but the favor enough to recognize it and they recognize you!  A pretty tall task!  Yes I know to all my highly religious and spiritual people, God will provide...Hallaluyer and Amen!  But what if you read the wrong signals?  This blog is to open the door that is already wide open!  Please join!

SUSTAINED NEED

As I stated earlier, we are all from various parts of life.  If you are from a two-parent household it's quite possible that you would look for someone similar to one of your parents?  yes no?  If you grew up with your parents yelling, then you may think it's ok to yell at your mate?  Yes No?  You can run through your head the different scenarios, but a sustained need is key.  Value, Need, desires, fulfillment even in the darkest times.  Are your expectations too high for mere mortals?  I mean we all have flaws.

Check it out.  I read an article the other day about how black women were "dumbing down or settling for less to have a mate."  What does that look like or even mean?  Does that mean you are looking for less successful men?  What happened to the guys you kicked to the curb on your way up the ladder?  What happened to the guys that you skipped over because someone else was showing you interest?  Insert a tear....

Has anyone ever wondered why there's never an article written about how hard it is for a man to find a woman?  Men are wired differently.  We have different struggles.  And most men won't put their issues on front street.

Here's the thing, and this is for men and women.  It is extremely difficult to find someone as you climb the success ladder whatever that looks like.  We are to busy working, traveling, doing us, or getting older and don't wanna put up with the bullshhh.  We've heard it all before right?

I think we've had it too easy.  Nobody wants to work through anything.  Everyone wants to rush as well.  You've been alive for 30 or 40 years but you expect someone to marry you after 1 month, 4 months a year?  Not saying it couldn't happen, but what are your odds on that being sustainable?  Hell if you can't fart in front of me, then how are we supposed to be together, together?  Now add in the fact that some people are on a timetable, then the fact that we have to understand who we are, and then damn it we just have to "Want to."

The more money we make the harder it is to find what we would consider as our equal.  And even then, as a man, the booty is getting thrown at us!  A successful man can look like a cross between Biggie and Lil Wayne and still have a baddie on his arm that will take care of him. I have to shake my own head at times, like wow.  The fact is we think differently.  Equality has made it to easy to find the next for each gender.  Everyone is expendable.  Sad but true.  Don't believe me?  Ask yourself this one question....That Ex that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with but are no longer with.  Do you still think about them?  If the answer is No, then you proved my point.


Anything that is worthwhile takes work.  But before the work, it's a Choice on both parties involved to do the work!  Stop thinking you're just going to be chosen by someone and fall into place!


Food for thought

Football is Life

You ever wonder why so many young men that play football are or become pastors?  It used to amaze me at how religious someone could be after they just spent 3 hours trying to knock the piss out of their opponent.  Puzzling actually.  However, I don’t think it’s the act….It’s the journey

                             

I’ve always stated that Football is a Journey.  I’m not aware of a sport that teaches you how to work with men from a hundred different backgrounds.  It’s also extremely difficult to push yourself to no end for one Friday night, Saturday afternoon, or Sunday.

Here’s my theory.  Many football players across the nation come from nothing.  Through hard work and determination and just “God given talent,” they pulled themselves out of the gutter.  Sounds like everything most Holy words teach.  Hard work.  But why doesn’t it equate to everything?    Football is life!  It teaches you how to pick yourself up when you’re down.  It teaches you that things don’t always go your way.  For the most part, for me at least, It taught me that when your prayers are answered…that time when you’ve worked every inch of your mind and your body and things actually go your way, All you have to do is say thanks.  However, when things don’t go your way….Understand that you can still work to make it better.

It took me about 35 years but I get it.  Have faith…never stop working.  Football may not be life for all, but it definitely teaches you things that cannot be taken away from you.

We were....We have been....Nah...#WEARELAWRENCE

We were....We have been....Nah....#WEARELAWRENCE


Most of yall will read the headline of this post and be completely turned off.  Shrugs...it'll be ok "sweetie."  I see it no different than someone reading m FB comments and form an opinion about me.  The fact is I get most of my material from, well, "Y'all,"  So if you are mad at anyone, get mad at yourself or society.  Y'all are my ghost writers as most of the things I post are from others mouths.

I'm actually going to take a little more time thinking through this blog because so many different angles and scenarios came to mind before I even started writing.  How do I explain what I'm talking about?  How do I get my point across?  How?  IDK but I'll try.

The fact is at some point in our lives, every guy has been a Lawrence at some point.  You don't have to believe me.  Just ask other guys.  So how did we get here?

For all the people that have no idea who Lawrence is or have no clue what I'm talking about.  Just close the blog...actually keep reading as you may pick up on a few things.  Enough small talk, let's get to the point.  In the show Insecure, Lawrence is the fictional character, that is in a long-term relationship but is currently down on his luck.  You know the drill, trying to figure out life like many of regardless of gender experiences at some point or another.  During this time, his relationship is severely strained because his Galpal and live in Ass is fed up with his lack of motivation and more than likely temporary depression.  Point blank he's in a funk.  Little to his knowledge, his GF is lusting for another guy as she is sick and tired of her man being sick and tired.  Ok, pause here. If you have ever been any relationship in which you or the other person didn't need to lean on the other for support please let me know.  Otherwise, why be in a relationship?  We can all do bad by ourselves.  Now, long story short, the GF is lusting for a guy as her man is down and out, opens up Pandora's box and kisses him and eventually has sex with dude after she recommitted her willingness to be "in this" with her current "crush."(notice I did not say, love.  You fall in and out of love with people, IMO)

Relationships are enjoyable, but they do take a little work and understanding.  If you've seen the show as I assume most have, you know the rest.  My point of writing this blog is understanding how most men were....have been....Nah...#wearelawrence.  The suspense is over so here I go.  Women and men are set up way different mentally, physically, and simple societal norms are different.  There are very few men that I know of that grew up being able to express their emotions about something that hurt them.  You just "deal with it."  No matter if it's losing a loved one or not growing up with a parent, and damn sure not relationship hurt.  In the instance that we did, it was normally met with "suck it up," or "Fuck that bitch," or "pray on it."  So, for the most part, you end up dealing with it however you can.  In the case of Lawrence (i.e.most men), he assumed that he could work through any issues with his partner and everything would be good.  After all, they were committed, right?  Right!  So let me explain something to you.  When a man chooses to be in a relationship with a woman, normally he's looking at this lady differently than any other woman he's dealt with in the past.  You are his friend, you are the person that he sees himself in, he may see you as the mother of his kids...He's your protector.  So be careful with your words ladies because once that vision of you in his mind is broken....You're just another ain't shit b*&CH that he can take or leave.  I'll give an example.  Most of yall watch Game of  Thrones.  Imagine if you will, a knight standing in all his armor standing in attention when his woman walks up to him and he immediately takes off his frontal chest plate, exposing his heart, his emotions and everything for your taking.  You two passionately embrace and during this time you pull out your knife and slowly insert it into his stomach.  In disbelief, his eyes stare down at yours as he's thinking, "NO, not you, not the one I loved and opened my heart to."  You smile as he crumbles to his knees, he grabs your ankles as you stand to just watch your work. Do you feel a slight sadness? Maybe? But you knew what you were doing from the start.  At this point, he is too weak to hold onto you, so you walk away never expecting to be troubled again. At this time you quote every bible scripture and Iyanla Vanzant quote out there on how what you did was just, but you forgot to make sure he was dead.  He wasn't.  You lost the thing that assisted you in your time of need, the equally flawed individual that during your unknowingly to him "Hoe phase, " stood beside you until you realized he would always care for you and help you.

He's Alive....and conquest is his goal.  Why you ask?  Society tells you that "there's more where that one came from," "there's plenty of fish in the sea, " "fuck that b*itch."  And they are all right.  They are absolutely correct, but no one tells you to chill out for a minute the same as no one tells the woman not to jump from one relationship to the next.  Lawrence finds out his flower, his pearl, his cherished lady betrayed him.  His pain looks at him in the mirror each day. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, well HELL was built on the emotions of slanging angry reckless Ping and its consequences.  We all know the phrase "hurt people, hurt people."  More than likely she's not that into the person she's with and he's out here reckless as hell.  It's not always the case, but many times yes.

Poor Lawrence!  Poor ex GF! Poor Everyone!  Is he a good guy?  Nope, but is his GF a good woman?  Hell Is anyone good?  We are all quite flawed.  Everyone!  He seeks shelter from someone that gave him pep talks when he was down.  The "support" that he was sure his now ex-was giving him.  It was a great plan until he realized he couldn't deal with her more than physical.  He was spending too much time, she was wanting more and he still hadn't dealt with his emotions from his now ex-gf stabbing him.  He was caught off guard.  When you are down you aren't always aware of your ways.  You just know or assume that the person you chose will be in your corner will be there or at least let you know why they can no longer be there.  They lived together for years.  You learn quite a bit about people, but NEVER enough.  My advice?  Get over it Bruh, Man F'k that trick, You pray on it folk?  I mean it's pretty good advice, right?  Right?  Am I Right?.   We can do bad by ourselves, right?  I know I can....I can do a lot of bad!

A Cautionary Tale

As usual, my first run always is terrible in punctuation and grammar.  I'll edit in another day as these are my real thoughts.  The picture above is an over head view of someone's heart.


When I was a kid, I used to wake up early in the morning and write.  I'd have so many thoughts in my head that the only way I could get over or through anything was to write.  So I did....

And here I am this am.  I debated for weeks about this post, because it's probably the most personal of any post I've ever written.  This is a cautionary tale of heartbreak and how it affects you.  Sigh


I'll start my story on May 14th, at 9:32 pm.   Why do I remember the exact date?  Well because It was pretty significant.  It changed my life.  And little did I know it was the start of me marking dates and times of pain and/or suffering.

Sigh again, I was in love.  Like really in love.  When I was a kid, I just knew that I would go to college, play ball and find someone to spend my life with.  I mean, after all, my parents were married at 19 and 21 respectively and they made it.  Surely I could do the same.  Or so I thought.  Ok, back to the day, I and my prospective future had broken away and her new living situation was a little too close for comfort.  What do I mean by to close?  I mean right in front of me, and with another gentleman.  So close that I could open my door and see inside.  The thought of this haunts me to this day because you can only imagine what I heard or saw, and I did.  I won't get into the details, but let's just say my heart was broken and in a moment of rage, all I could think of was breaking another heart.  I was floored.  No, I really thought I stopped breathing and something else took over my body.  I was no longer the kid from the country, I was something, something unimaginable.  I was dead.  I saw it...I smelled it....I could actually taste it.  Those that know me understand that I have a pretty high level of sensory, especially smell.  Evil has an odor, once you smell it...You will always remember it!

Another time in my life I became crumbled sorta, kinda by choices.  Choices I made, in essence, to avoid being hurt again, but also choices by a great person to stay quiet  I have to be careful here as It's early in the morning per my usual and my thoughts are flowing like the waters of the ocean.  Here I am again, looking at someone wishing I could be someone else's life and it felt good.  Nope, It felt great.  I was never really committal.  Not because I didn't want to, but the circles are so small and I'm a VERY private person.  I have Friends, acquaintances, and some folks I just kick it with when it's convenient.  I didn't need everyone in knowing me or anything about me at that time.  Obviously, that didn't fly over well.  And it didn't!  So fast forward, in life, we all can be on such different timeframes that it can really kill any relationship.  We talked about a family once and I didn't feel ready at the time.  I'm not backtracking now.  I just wasn't!  not that I didn't want one, I just didn't know what I could bring to the table and was scared to not feel prepared.  I also didn't think we were ready at the time.  Too much confusion the time surrounding us and that seemed idiotic at the time in my eyes.  You can only guess what happens from here so I'll skip the details and say I was floored by the outcome.  The predictable outcome didn't come immediately, but many years after.  The same year that I lost one of my best friends, losing my dad, and leaving a job so that I could be more stable and actually start a family.  Yup you heard right.  I laugh now because I remember going home just to sleep and my niece, bless her heart, thought I was on drugs and was ready to do an intervention.  I wasn't on any drugs....However, maybe I was?  Yeah, I overdosed actually and wanted to tap out!

Life goes on and we all move forward and the blessing of it all makes me laugh uncontrollably at times.  It became a joy in my life and I'm thankful for it in whatever capacity I get to enjoy them.

My last story is another cautionary tale of distrust, timing, and feeling like you can work anything out.  I knew them for about 8 years.  Went through a mountain of good and bad with them but for whatever reason, we always stayed connected.  Heck, I even said 3 words to this person.  The 3 words that you can never take back once you've said it and they shared the same sentiment.  I remember the day I said that too, but I won't say the day.  But I will say that the day after, the expression of those 3 words were broken.  I really didn't know the extent of how at the time but I knew whatever happened at the time required extreme caution at the time.  Many years later this person is back into my life and we decide to actually try us as an attempt never really happened.  During this time one of her goals was to reveal her truths.  One of them was, to be honest and that's what she did.  The truth I'll focus on was what really happened years ago.  Now I'd like to act like it didn't bother me, but it did.  It bothered me to no end but I also wanted to push past it.  We decided in the beginning 3 things.  The first thing was that the only reason that we are trying is for permanent(marriage), two, that I need to believe your emotions.  Basically, if you are happy then don't fake happiness and if you are sad then be sad.  I shouldn't, we shouldn't have to guess if what I see is what you actually feel.  The third, was a hum-dinger as I always tell my clients this.  And I quote, "when something goes wrong or you are unhappy about something, please give me the benefit of the doubt and let's talk about it!"  People act like nothing will ever go wrong and that's a complete lie.  Life is about overcoming wrongs!  I banked on this first conversation of wants.  I banked on it!

I have visions.  Visions that I don't understand at the time but I have visions.  Intuition.  As I type, I'm looking at the words "Shadow Box" on my wall.  Means nothing to you, but it shows that the answer is always right in front of you if you pay attention.  So back to my story. this person revealed their truth which I was thankful for but I was determined to stay the course.  It was hard mentally as I'm like wow.  Would I of even talked to them again years ago had I known?  IDK.  Probably a month passes and I had what I call a strong bad feeling as she asked me about someone she knew in the past asking her if it was ok to crash at the pad while he was in town.  My intuition was at an all time high!  Distrust seeped in and I was starting to show it.  My first thought was why is this person even bringing this foolishness to me?  You asking me about a guy wanting to crash that you had dealings with?  Come on?  Really?  You really think I'd be ok with that?  I shut down.  I was listening but I shut down!  The improbable nail in the coffin came a month later.  I was already on edge and a picture popped up that I didn't really wanna see.  Was it terrible?  Not really, but I didn't need that vision in my life at the time as I was trying to push past a few things.  I expressed displeasure but the picture stayed.  Admittedly every emotion that I wanted to share was closed off.  I wanted to say a lot but I couldn't.  My guards wouldn't let me, and the guards to my heart are bigger than I am and way meaner!  Fast forward and I was asked in probably the weirdest night of my life 2 things.  One was about marriage and to be honest, I was still in my mind focused on that but Heck no I didn't know if I wanted to right then.  We were still working ...and My plan was to continue working towards that goal.  That was the last time I saw her.  No seriously, I called, I text, emailed and even sent flowers.  Nothing.  A year later, I got a text that bugged the shit out of me and through that text I expressed everything that I had been holding back for a year.  On deaf ears.  I was pissed.  I hated this person.  All I wanted was a chance to explain last year.  Who knew that I'd never get a chance to even see them again.  And why are you willing to listen now?  I hated them.  I pushed past many things and I couldn't even get a conversation?

Writing helps me express myself as I'm not perfect.  I have flaws.  I have insecurities.  I'm human.  I was told once that I come across as nothing bothers me.  I'm always surprised by those comments because that tells me you don't really know me and If you feel that way, there's a good reason you don't know me.  I bleed, I laugh, I cry, I'm a real person!  I tell these stories as a cautionary tale of how situations can kick you in the throat.  We wake up and try again as we are hopeful.  I am hopeful.  I am ....well, Human!

LOVE JONES

Jones

Can be used as a verb (Jonesing) or a noun (a jones). Describes a state in which one experiences strong desire or attraction, often of a sexual nature. Equiv. "to fancy" "crushing on" "to want"

She's been jonesin him for months.
He's got a major jones for her.

I put the definition of the word above to assist those that have never seen the movie or have no idea what I'm referring to going forward.  Now that I've explained this, let's begin.

Love Jones...If any of you have ever seen this classic movie, you know that it is the epitome of how Love gets complicated.  How insecurities, pride, and just F'n bad communication assist the struggles of life.  Around minute fifty-three, Nina gets a call from her ex.  Yes the one that she still has a feeling for but won't admit to it.  In her efforts to make sure the new love interest is real, she and her girlfriend set up a "test."  The test is to be upfront a mention visiting the ex and if the new interest plays too cool then she should continue with her plan to see her ex.  Her new interest listens to her thoughts and figures if you are bringing it up then you must want to go.  I can't hold you back from doing what you want to do.  This question starts the avalanche that will soon follow.

I never really liked that F'n movie!  However, that movie is so true in many ways.  Far too often things are left open to interpretation, and we know interpretation is just another word for ASSUME....We made an ASS out of U and ME!  From a male perspective, if you are bringing up another dude, that tells us that you are still interested in them.  Major Red Flags!  Women want to test you and see what your interest is in them before they make a decision.  in essence, it's robbery, no, Highway Robbery of your emotions.  It happens far too often.  Then the blame game starts and the insecurities,  jealousy, and lack of trust will soon follow.  There's a saying that goes "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."  However, what happens when your friend becomes your enemy?  Mis-communication is the best way to turn a friend into your worst enemy.  Why?  Because you know them and they know you.

Not a rambling post as normal since it's been so long, but I just wanted to share.

I CHOOSE YOU!

Acting like a Monkey usually attracts other Monkeys!!................. As you marinate on that statement I'll say hello to those that actually read my blogs and yes I know it's been a while. To be honest, I didn't really like the attention even if ever so small that I was getting and decided to stop writing my blogs. However, This is also how I release my thoughts and just like anything creative, if you put it out for folks to see, you will get attention...I'm now at peace with that fact. Same format...probably extremely poor punctuation as I Throw up on the page my thoughts. ACTING LIKE A MONKEY, USUALLY ATTRACTS OTHER MONKEYS Not a day passes where I don't read some crap on the internet about how to attract a woman or a man or how to get more business etc. The fact is 90% of us have no problem finding/attracting a mate....the issues is keeping them around, or even being kept! In other words...Whether you choosing or being Chose....the Monkey Spit you do keeps you from being kept! And we've all done it! So before you start acting like this does not pertain to you, let me go ahead and say....YOSE a LIE! I'll start with a simple example....Jameis Winston is a great Quarterback for the Florida State Seminoles, but the Dumb Spit that he gets involved in makes folks in the hood doubt his intelligence....In other words....He's doing dumb Spit! Not a football fan? Ok, many of you watch ratchet TV so I'll use the TV show Scandal as an example. Beautiful, successful Olivia Pope has two powerful white men literally trying to kill each in attempt to gain the love and affection of this woman. Some of yall see this as cute and wish you had someone to love and care for you in the same manner....Stop Thinking Dumb Monkey Spit! People really die over situations....I promise you men and ladies, if you put a significant other in a situation, you or someone you care for will get hurt or you may end up in a Ray Rice situation! Yep I said it....got a problem with it, address it. Now that I've caught your attention I shall move on to what we really want to talk about. As Grown folks, we must watch the way we carry ourselves in public as you never know who's watching, and EVERYONE is Paparazzi! Just a fact! We can sit around and say it ain't fair and that i'm going to do what I'm going to do, but be prepared to be labled as a Monkey! Don't believe me....let me name some monkeys that this time a year or two ago were cool folks...Bill Cosby, Ray Rice, Wendy Williams(terrible movie). You get what I'm saying! We all go out and about and observe folks from the other sex....we look at how they carry themselves in public and we all judge! Don't believe me again....you're kidding yourself. What do we do? Put folks in Dating category or just having a good time with category? We all know it, but we think for whatever reason that for some strange reason somebody will look past our extreme flirting, Lies, Craziness and want to be with them....Could it happen? Yes, does it happen, Yes....but your odds have decreased Drastically. If we want to genuinely be chosen, then we have to make that pathway to see who we really are, a bit easier...Transparency is what I call it. What kind of example are we showing others as to how we would be if we were with them, employed by them, or doing business with them? Stop Acting like a Monkey! 

 With all this being said, it's hella fun doing crazy spit, but if you want to be chose, Be mindful! I don't know who else is looking, but I know I see you out hollerin at every lady in the bar/club, Ladies I see you up in every dudes face making'em jealous, Young folks I see your Facebook videos telling all your business and cursing out some chick or dude that ticked you off. This service announcement is just a warning to stop doing Monkey Spit....At some point...We never know who's choosin!

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2270707-kevin-hart-tells-jameis-winston-to-stop-doing-dumb-s-t-makes-crab-leg-joke

It's My World...Yall Just Live in it.......The Representative!

Is it really necessary to have to act like a totally different person to see me? Do I have to talk in a different way when I'm around you to cover up my slang? Why is it that I have to tell you I'm a professional ball player for you to act like you're interested? Does the fact that I own a home or drive a Mercedes attract you more than my personality? Is it NOT possible to tell you the God's honest truth without you taking some passive aggressive stance?

DOES THIS FEEL LIKE QUESTIONS YOU'VE ASKED YOURSELF IN THE PAST? If so then is it really worth the trouble? In my opinion NOT AT ALL! What face do you wear? And why?

I've always had troubles in my dating/relationship life specifically in the fact that I never liked trying to be someone I wasn't! I'm not going to be all jiggy'd up every time I see you. I'm not going to act like I'm some balla and buy out the bar just to impress you! As a matter of fact...I'm a country boy! I like a home cooked meal(yes I can cook), I love being social, and different experiences excite me! Who are ya'll? Do you know? Are you ok with showing who you are and accepting the fact that you are not for everyone?

Ok so enough with all the questions, lets get down to the nitty gritty! Boy meets girl, girl thinks guy is "OK" on paper so she gives boy a chance. During this time boy is taking her to every movie that comes out, calling her each day and sending text messages every hour just say "hello." Not only that, but boy is even missing the Lakers/Bulls game on TV so he can take girl out to see the new Think Like a Man movie....which he really doesn't care to see! WTF boy asks...After all this stuff I've done why isn't she giving it up yet?

During this time, Lady dresses up in the most sensual and some what seductive clothes that she can find, makes sure she wears that smell good perfume that her ex-boyfriend loved so much because she knows the reaction she gets. Girl then proceeds to laugh at all of boys jokes during their interactions, and tries her best to seem like she's really interested in every story boy brings up! WTF, when will it stop? Girl asks? Damn he's shallow girl thinks! Doesn't he notice my hair? He hasn't even mentioned if he likes it or not!

My question to all this is why? I understand that it's great to look good, smell good or show someone your best qualities, but when does "The Representative" leave and the real YOU joins the party? Ya'll know what I mean, girl figures out that boy has an extremely potty mouth, boy finds out that girl smashed a couple of the homies, girl finds out that boy doesn't really own a Mercedes, but it's really his dads, boy finds out that girl spends more money on her weave then she does paying her rent!! All this Trickin off messes things up for the genuine folks! Guys, why do we constantly trust a big booty and a smile? Gals, why do you always get with Mr.Wrong?

This is one topic that I cannot speak for everyone else on, but I feel that everyone has asked themselves at one point or another....why? Folks used to ask me all the time why I was single, and the answer usually was because I wanted to be that way. Not so much that I wanted to be by myself, but because I wanted to be with someone that I felt I could share my life with(which is a difficult task for everyone). The thing that I value most is TIME and True Friendship. I personally don't feel like spending my time around folks that I don't want to be around and this still reigns true today! Conversation, Loyalty, great conversation are things that I value to it's fullest! What do ya'll value most? I think many folks go overboard spending time on things that their mates don't hold a high value towards. I know many folks use "acts of kindness" to show they care, others use words, and some buy things for their mates. However, do we know what really tickles the others fancy? Probably not! Have you asked your partner? Have you thought about it? You should!!


Whose time are you wasting? What Mask do you wear? Nothing is guaranteed!


Till next time! Enjoy!

It's My World...Yall Just Live in it...So enjoy it while you have it!

"And I-, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Every since I was a kid it seems like at times I would purposefully choose the harder path. Don't get me wrong I would of loved to of had success given to me, but that was never the case. I wasn't naturally a strong guy, playing sports and being good at it took some work, and I wasn't always the best student. With all that being said it's not like I started off terrible, but it did take a lot of work on my part to make many aspects of my life acceptable. The grind keeps me focused actually and I believe everything takes work. Not trying to make this blog into a relationship convo but I do believe that everything takes work. Furthermore I think I'm moreso drawn to things that take a little effort to achieve! In my eyes, though it may seem like the world is going to end at the moment, If you are passionate about it enough, you go after it and when you get it, you hold it tight. I always wanted to play football growing up but it took a lot of work to get to where that goal was attained. I am truly greatful for that experience. Many people in my opinion quit way before it's time. Not saying they are quitters, but I think that they fail to see past the bullshit that we all have to go through sometimes or we just want an easier path! Historically, I've chosen the road less traveled.

"Long I stood and looked down one as far as I could, to where it bent in the undergrowth."

We all have to evaluate the good and the bad, pros and cons of every situation we are in before, during, and after to see if it's even worth it or if we should bail. Let's face it, life isn't always about how we play the game. Sometimes it's about wins and losses! I personally must admit that I loose multiple times each day in some capacity. Many times I wake up and want to quit or just lay in the bed but I have Goals. Tangible Goals that if I stay in the bed or don't push forward then I feel I'm one day behind in achieving those goals. One monkey don't stop no show...Even if the Monkey is the person in the mirror! I've been that monkey many times before.

"And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler'

Many times we analyze the situation more than we should. I've been known to go with a gut feeling on several occasions. If it feels right and there are no glaring issues I usually go with what I feel. Usually the people I'm around can't understand that, but that's because most of the people I hang around are quite analytical. I've learned to trust my instincts. Hey, It's gotten me this far!~

"Then took the other just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim, because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for the passing there had worn them really about the same."

Normally decisions have similar pros and cons but we all have to make decisions and live with them. Some bad and some good. It's called life. Remember I'm a multiple looser, but I wake up every day with a fresh slate to make that day a better day. My thoughts and feelings 10, 5, 3 years ago aren't the same as they are today and some are similar. Who is the same person however? If you stay the same you probably aren't doing much with yourself. My mom always reminds me how her and my pops had to work at their relationship over the years, but Love was what kept them together. I think that's what always stuck in my mind when dealing with any woman in my life. If at every moment they wanted to leave it was hard for me to mentally allow them back into my life. In the back of my mind Id always feel like it was only a matter of time before they left. Amazing how these reality shows always show how to find a man, or show various dating techniques, but none focus on KEEPING a relationship. Which in my opinion is the key!

"I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood and I-I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

I'm not ashamed to say that my thinking changed drastically after my father and one of my best friends died 2 months apart from each other. For the longest I was focused on the grind to be successful and when I slowed down my grind I realized how successful I was already! Also, within the last year or so I've had a few folks pop up that I haven't heard from in years tell me how I changed their lives. Was kinda shocking to hear! Furthermore, I spend the last 4 years traveling all the time for someone else! No More! My goals are to focus on my life first and uplifting those who surround it. I'm focused on making my family better. The one that I currently have, and the one that I hope to have one day.

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I-I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." This is the story that I will be sharing somewhere ages and ages hense.

Oh yeah...Enjoy!

It's My World....Boyz will be Boyz!!

They say that Pimpin ain't easy, they also say that pain is just weakness leaving the body! Well the way I see it, Pimpin can put you in jail, broke, or in the hospital, and many times pain is nothing more than that....PAIN! As a guy, we are taught as a kid to handle physical pain! I can remember as a kid if I fell off my bike I could hear my father now...."Boy...Stop that crying!" Or if someone in your neighborhood lost a fight and started to cry...We would still be talking about how much of a bitch you were back then.

Now before I get into the nitty gritty of what I'm talking about today I want to once again state the fact that I am no expert! The things I talk about in my blogs are my experiences...In my world...That ya'll just happen to live in! Some of these stories may resemble something you have been though personally, but I assure you that you are not the only one, otherwise the topic would not of made my blog. In actuality, my blogs are written from a onslaught of thoughts and viewpoints shared about the same thing in a short amount of time.

OK, where was I? Oh yeah, PAIN! As little boyz we are conditioned to deal with physical pain! Break your leg...don't cry! Loose a tooth in a bad fall or a fight...dang, he's a little soldier! You choke on a bone and pass out from loss of air! Dang isn't he a tough little rascal. However, How do we react when we loose a loved one in death, or in a relationship?? Let's explore the latter!

There are 2 types of guys...One that is into you, and one that Could really care less about you! Point Blank! Now being "into you," doesn't necessarily mean he is ready to marry you, or mean that they want you to be the mother of their children(doesn't mean they aren't either)! What it does mean is that if you take away the physical, they truly like you as a person first and foremost! It means they enjoy hanging around you, being in your presence and even more they have no issue with folks seeing you two together in public! Myself included, I can think of only a handful of women that I have been truly into. They made a movie about this actually, "He's not that into you." I haven't seen it but I'm sure it's interesting! We know the story of a guy not being into you, but what happens when he is very into you and things take a turn for the worst? Many of yall probably see where I'm going with this and may think I'm talking about your situation? Nope...You are not the only one! But I am talking about Guys, Men, Boyz! Ladies!? How many times have you seen were a guy gets out of a relationship with a woman that he was "into"(not by his choice) and the very next woman he meets she becomes wifey? Why is that? I'll tell you why? Many men have what I call Poor DIk Control! Now for you analytical folks...Dik Control isn't what you think it is! Dik control in this definition is basically Males having no control over their own emotions...and since Men have Penis' I refer to it as Poor Dik Control! Got it? Good!

Dik Control stems from childhood as I discussed earlier. The guy knows how to handle physical pain(or be a man as they say), however he struggles to handle emotional pain or non-physical emotional situations! Now I'm not saying that he doesn't know how to express his emotions, I'm saying he can't control them! Example: I feel 100% that the majority of dudes would love to have a good woman by their side whether in a committed relationship or in marriage. HOWEVER, Your boyz Jagged Edge Screwed things up years ago with their song on Marriage! One verse even says "we ain't getting no younger we might as well do it." OK so is that why you want to marry someone? Cuz you not getting any younger...I call it Poor Dik Control. Another example: Guy is into girl, girl breaks up with guy, and guy is hurt. Guy can't handle the loss of the girl he was so into. Guy finds out she has a new boo within a few weeks or months after the break up. Guy sends constant emails, texts, and calls to try and get her back with no progression so guy goes out and gets married to the next woman he meets... I call that poor dik control. One last example. Guy is with girl, that he is "into" of course, girl convinces the guy to stop hanging out with his friends because she doesn't like them....I call that Poor Dik Control! Are you getting the Idea of what I'm saying yet? Let's dive in further! There are tons of examples that I could give on poor dik control but I'm sure ya'll can think of some yourself. Every guy experiences a lack of dik control at one point of time! Just like anything else, somethings you just have to experience before you truly understand how to handle situations. Heck, many of us have never been taught proper Dik Control Management, as a high percentage of black males did not grow up with a father, who in my opinion had poor dik control. When you first start dating, my pops and I'm certain other fathers probably told their sons this quote or something similar..."Do NOT start doing something with a young woman that you don't plan on continuing!" This was my first lesson in proper Dik Control Management! Basically he was telling me to be respectful but not to start something (opening car doors, Holding the door open, always driving, always paying for meals, etc) that you don't plan on continuing! If you do, you are building an expectation that you will get burned by in the long run. Be real, be genuine, and believe in who you are and your values! Be willing to compromise but do not change who you are! Find someone that complements you and does not bring you down! And last, make sure she has respect for herself...because without that...she will NEVER RESPECT YOU! Nice guys don't always finish last, but a stupid one always will!



I'll leave you with a prayer that I got from one of my homies...I cannot change the past, but grant me the courage and the wisdom, and the understanding to focus on my future and my today!

Take care ya'll...hope you enjoy!

Oh and PS: Jagged Edge Song!
http://youtu.be/IuKDg5xncPY

Long, Short, Out, Or HOLD....Investing 101

Investments are risky. They don't provide fixed returns and past performance doesn't guarantee future results. All investments entail the risk of great and sudden financial loss. Returns vary and you may have a gain or loss when you sell your securities.

No assurance is given that anything described here will be successful.


I'm sure most of yall are thinking I this blog was about the stock market? Some of you maybe even thought that I was going to give a few stock market tips....Well you're all right! Investing 101...Long, Short, Out....Or Hold!

When I was in College one of my best friends used to tell me that I looked at women like the stock market. Unapologetic at the time, I disagreed, however the older I get, the more I wonder if there is some validity in her statement.

Long(Buy), Short(sell), Out, or Hold! These are the questions I ask myself each day when I trade, and furthermore I must admit that I ask this same question each time I meet a young lady(or old woman)...Yall know I have to keep it lighthearted). Now before I start I know there could be a few women out there that reads this blog and have opinions that I sound sexist. My response is...I don't screw guys so when you get a blog you can voice your own opinion. Now...Back to the regularly scheduled program. Let me explain the dynamics of what I mean with the terms Long, Short, Out, or Hold. As most of you already know, guys are attracted to physical beauty first and foremost. I am no different! The moment myself and most men meet a woman that they deem as physically attractive the "BUY" sign comes out, or UP if you know what I mean! Obviously there are other factors in these definitions I'm giving but I think most of yall understand the base of what I'm trying to say. The next Market tip is "Short." Shorting the market usually happens when you don't see things going up but starting to go down. For those that don't know you can make money when the market goes down. A short could be someone that you see as attractive but she's just now what you want. She's to wild for you, She a lil to ghetto(yup I said it), you don't trust her, the homies used to run thru her, all these factors make you want to short the market. How do you make money you ask? Well, the answer is that she's good in bed so you keep her around till the market changes.(Ladies do it too). The issue with shorting the market is that it can come up and bite you when the market turns positive. The same for life! The next definition is self Explanatory. "OUT"!! Basically nothing you see or hear is worth taking the chance on! In life terms, She could be physically attractive(most of the time she's not), but she is Crazy, just plain trouble! Hopefully you find this out sooner rather than later! The last definition I have for my daily market plan is "HOLD." Hold is exactly what you think the definition is...HOLD! However, just like the trading the market, Very Few stocks are a true long term hold where you go through all the ups and downs and market crashes and recovery's and 52 week highs and Historic lows and then after years of Holding this stock you look up at your statement and say WOW...This stock has been good to me! I can't let go. I won't let go...It continually makes me money! Some folks think they have a great stock to "Hold" and it turns out to be a dud! Why is that? Lets explore

One of the key factors in trading is EMOTIONS! Emotions will get you in trouble each and every time! Humans are habitual creatures by nature...so does the market. In other words, if you can slightly take a bit of your emotions out of thing and find our the market patters you will be on the right side of the market more times then you will be on the wrong. NOTICE I DID NOT SAY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT! NOR did I say to completely kill your emotions! I said slightly take a bit of your emotions out of your thinking. Each day I start with the facts...What do I see, what are you doing, and what have you done. From there I can look at my trades from an open eye and know exactly when to go Long, Short, or Out. Holding rarely happens so I didn't mention that point on purpose. In reference to people...everyone has a pattern, what is it? Everyone has history, What is it? Everyone you meet you can ask the question to yourself...Long, Short, Out...or Hold...There are no guarantees of being right....You may miss an opportunity for being wrong, but the game is to be on the right side of the market more then you are on the wrong.

Oh and P.S...Chart and document all your trades. It helps you figure out what you did right and what you did wrong and what you did right.

I'll leave yall with a traders quote that we say each day. "Trade hard, Trade smart, and always end the day being able to trade tomorrow!"

LIFE, HOPE, FAITH.....EnLIGHTENMENT.....aND tHE deVIL!!

If I grew up Muslim would you like me? If my family were Buddhist priests would you hang with me? If I was adopted by a family of Scientologists would you allow me into your home?? Or would you just pray for me? Pray that I find and accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior? The fact is I would probably be praying for you as well!!

Maslow's Hierarchy of needs lists Self-Actualization as the Number 1 need that all mankind seeks! And I believe this to be true. Where there's life we are all searching for that feeling of being...Of oneness! When I was a kid I used to love the movie "The Last Dragon." For those that don't remember or have never even seen the movie, the main character spends most of the movie searching for "THE MASTER"! For most of the movie he goes on what I would call a wild goose chase, and after having to take a lot of crap from outsiders as well as his own family, he finally finds that the "The Master," lies within himself! This movie came out in 1985. I was 10 years old and it meant so much to me. Still love it to this day! There were days even before this movie I would sit outside on our trampoline and watch the wind blowing the trees. I felt at one with life! Almost like I was apart of it...Which we all are! Everything moved as one and I,...was apart of that one!

If any of you have ever been in a competitive situation like sports, debates, hell a job, or anything else, someone has probably at least mentioned to you that 99% of success is Mental! You have to believe in who? Yourself! Just like in "The Last Dragon," we all have had people put us down us from family members to other random folks. We've had Girlfriends or boyfriends ditch us for whatever reason, and jobs fire us or lay us off for only God knows why. In the end, if we don't believe in ourselves who can you believe in? If you don't have true Faith that God, Allah, Buddha or whomever is watching over you and will lead you to your Path of Enlightenment then who will? I was told that Success is when Preparation meets opportunity and they both Shake hands! So basically we all have to PREPARE ourselves for that golden opportunity! What opportunity you ask? Why you asking that? It's your world too! As an athlete you train for that one track meet, swim event, football game etc. In our careers we prepare for that big presentation, inspection, or Interview. In Relationships.....well...this isn't a relationship blog so I'll let ya'll figure that one out! Basically we all want certain things in life...but are we Prepared to receive it when it's given to us or crosses our path. Many times the answer is NO!

The Old Testament describes the Devil(Satan) as a fallen angel that instigates tests upon humankind! All religions point to a higher power and some form of the opposite of good. Many forms of religion point to the Devil(Satan) as a Metaphor for Free Will. Basically saying we Screw ourselves! Overall the devil is anything that is in opposition of God's will. The problem lies in that very last statement, The opposition of God's will. God's Will is interpreted differently by many people. I had a conversation a couple days ago about how Mankind has misinterpreted many religious doctrine. In my conversation, I mentioned how the 10 commandments says outright...Thou Shall not Kill! I was told that it says Thou Shall not murder....Blank stare! Ok we are splitting hairs here, but my point is what is considered killing? We have religious fights over abortion every day! Isn't that Killing? And what about all the religious Wars that went on 100's of years ago and are still going on now? People used to kill in the name of the Lord. HMMMM....Doesn't the 10 commandments say Thou shall not kill? Ok...Kill what? What shouldn't you kill? I am from the country and I've killed my fair share of fish, Rabbits...etc...I think you get my point. The 10 Commandments also says to "remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." This doesn't say you must come to XYZ Church each Sunday and listen to the minister preach his interpretation of the WORD of GOD! It also doesn't say that I should hang on to every word the minister says or believe in them to be anything other than the teachings of a Human...in which we are all flawed and are sinners(I had a minister once who was found to be a snake and a drug user). Nor does it say I need to go to church every Sunday so I should look down on others. I think that's covered in the 10 commandments too...stop judging! The point I'm making is like my mom told me a couple days ago, that many religious folks are the most hypocritical. Number One on the list of commandments is "Thou shall not have other Gods before me." Buddhism was born almost 600 years BC...That's Before Christ for those that don't know what that means. Now before ya'll go crazy as some folks do, they also believe in God. However, God to them is within us. Point I'm trying to make is if we are all made in the vision of GOD. Each of us has a piece of God within us! Find it! If you don't choose to live your life, you truly haven't lived a life!

About a month ago I went to church for the first time since one of my best friends died and I must say I really felt the message spoke directly to me. The message was from the Book of Job. It talked about how He was one of the Lords most Humble servants. The devil wanted to test someone and the Lord offered Job to be tested. During this test, Job Lost it all! His wife left him, he lost his home, he lost all his riches, but he kept his faith! When it seemed as all Hope was lost, Job kept believing that there would be better days, and you know what...BETTER DAYS CAME! And not only came but it came double what he had. Job lived his LIFE with HOPE, FAITH, ENLIGHTENMENT...And the DEVIL! During the sermon they stressed how Job believed, and kept pushing to do the right thing and he prayed! He didn't have to pray in church every day or with a group! He could pray in a Barn, out in the fields, in the streets, But he prayed! He was Prepared! And when opportunity came Job was ready!

I can't sit here and say everyone should believe what I believe...nor do I care really, but I do know that my community of friends are some of the best ever. They say you should keep folks around you to keep your belief system strong. When I attended church I realized that I already do without even knowing it. That day one of my old college buddies was being baptized, many of my friends were there that day, and a whole slew of them attend other churches. My other friends choose to pray all by themselves! And that's OK with me. The others that don't are good with me as well no matter what religion or non religion. I truly feel blessed to be me! I thank God each day for giving my breath to breathe. My God...the one that lives inside of me, always has and always will.

Captain Save a Hoe!!

Had I started this blog a couple weeks ago like I had planned, it would of been a totally different topic. Those of you that I mentioned the topic to earlier are probably shocked as you read the title! My response...that's why I usually try not to even mention my blog until it comes out. It may change! As it did here! In other words...my bad...Maybe next time.

It seems as some of ya'll enjoy reading what I have to say and I really appreciate it. Some of ya'll always have critiques of my relationship topics...and that's great as well. The point of my blog is to stimulate conversation. Just remember, these are my views! If you don't agree with them, then don't agree! I shall get a good nights sleep and will eat good without thinking about your opinions one way or the other. Let's get real ya'll, nothing you read in my eyes is 100 percent truth! ....I'll let ya'll linger on that for my next blog topic.

With that being said, it's always funny when I have a chance to socialize with my friends. Young professionals and relationship talk is as synonymous as corn flakes and milk! They just go together! And if you don't believe me, try putting water in your corn flakes, doesn't seem right does it?! LOL. People are funny! It always amazes me that we are so similar as women and men, Yet sooooo far apart in our thinking. I truly believe the ultimate goal is to be happy, but I don't feel like we all have the same view of happiness. Makes sens right? Ya'll judging me yet? Well let me give ya'll something to judge me about!

After sitting through some painful relationship conversations I've come up with what I consider a pretty accurate statement...."All men have a CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE IN THEM! Yet all women have a GROUPIE IN THEM AS WELL!." I knew that would hit a nerve, however let me make my point. Ladies, do you ever watch the Real Housewives of WHEREVER and wonder who in the Hell would marry these chicks?! NO? Well let me make it more local to you. Do any of you have girlfriends that got engaged and you thought to yourself...WTH, how on earth did that nasty HOE find someone to marry her? Don't lie! Ya'll don't have to admit your feelings, but I know some of ya'll think it. Hell I've heard women say in order for them to get married they have to become crazy because that's what it seems men like. Well some do! That's right I said it...SOME do. Now lets dig deeper into the subject! Shall we?

My statement was, "All men have a CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE IN THEM! YET ALL WOMEN HAVE A GROUPIE IN THEM AS WELL." Since my references were the RHOW(Real Housewives of wherever) and your triflin ass homegirls that found hubbies, lets stay with that. Similar to the RHOE your homegirls don't have much going for them do they? I mean you might see them as gold diggers or crazy or to mouthy or don't have the degrees you do or the job or they probably don't even have the earning potential if any like you do right! Yet somehow these women were able to find a DUMB ASS male(insert Captain save-a-hoe) to swoop down and marry them! WHyyyyy! Whyyyyy! Whhhyyyyy! I'll tell you why! The same way women tell me they don't feel NEEDED when they are around me. YOU do not make the man feel needed around you! GULP, I said it...go ahead and re-read that statement! I'll wait on you! Ok, now back to the regularly scheduled broadcast. Though your homegirls and the RHOE don't have a pot to piss in without their hubbies(maybe they do but are just not good people), they were able to successfully find a man and tap into his inner CAPTAIN! I'm certain they all or most of them kept themselves fairly together physically, had pretty good social skills(after all, every hoe has to be social), and knew how to play damsel in distress around the right men!(notice I said the right men...doesn't work on every guy[certified captain!]). The men on the other hand, who are quite simple I might add, has the wealth whether newly found or existing sees this beautiful creature and feels the need to shower them with gifts and trips and do all these great things for them! Why you ask? Because if the head right Biggie there ery night! HA... just playin! I had to throw that in my blog somehow...Sorry ya'll.

Ladies! So I don't get crucified with words here let me go into the male psychy! Just like you, we want to feel like we are needed in your life. This "NEED" is different for each Captain(man)! Me personally, I was and still am a momma's boy! She taught me how to do a lot of things for myself and always told me not to depend on someone to do stuff for you that you can do for yourself. For me, if I don't enjoy your company I probably won't have you around to long because you bore me! Some guys I know really tap into the "NEED" factor big time. These guys get the most ass because women love to be around them! The women have an organic feeling of need and can sometimes play a reverse role here. The woman is the captain and the man is the groupie! Hey it works! There are tons of scenarios I can bring up, but in end it's everyone's goal to feel secure! That security could be financially, emotionally, mentally, or a combination of those things! And the man loves to fill that void even if they have to lie. Yup, I said Lie....don't act like it's such a shock...Men lie and women lie! How many times do women tell me how much they care for them and their guy friend is JUST a friend, but yet they are talking sexual to this guy friend, sending them dirty text messages about how they can smack their ass or other naughty things. You are a lie and a fake! Dudes, How many of you use your Captain techniques to manipulate? You are a lie and a fake? Women, when you are at a concert stop acting like a groupie...Yes we know you would screw the lead singer or the drummer,its ok cuz as a guy we want to screw your fine ass homegirl! Stop making it so obvious. Guys and gals be straight up...Stop Fakin and Start communicating!

Now some of ya'll, particularly the ladies are questioning everything I just said but remember I'm working the percentages here and there are always exceptions to the rule. I've always thought that finding a mate is really a difficult thing. I mean if you are a Hall of Fame Baseball player you put the ball into play a measly 30% of the time! OUCH! In life we are ultimately looking for ONE PERSON! Now Marinate on that for a bit! Does that mean we need to get our slugging percentage up?? Dunno, either way we all need that one person you can trust, be secure with, talk to, enjoy their company, and more so be the person that you are willing to endure the good and the bad with. My mom used to tell me if you meet someone that thinks marriage is all roses, stay away, because they are NOT ready to be married. Sometimes you wake up angry, sometimes you go to sleep angry, and sometimes you don't pay them no attention but you work it out!

Hope all of Ya'll have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I look forward in seeing everyone in the new year!

GTFOHWTBS......SON!!

So over the past few years ya'll have asked me many questions about budgeting and finances. After all...It's what I do! At first I would normally sit and think why in the world would this person asking me of all people? After all managing your finances is natural right? Wrong. Last month I got a chance to attend a Dave Ramsey seminar just to see if I can pick up on things for myself. What I found out is there are more people in financial disarray then I ever thought imaginable! So with that being said, I wanted to touch on a few things people need to understand about Money and Finances before I get going on everything else.

First things first....you need FOCUS! What do I mean by FOCUS you ask? I mean you will need to be committed to doing better.(Those of you that don't know what commitment is I can't help, fyi). Folks pay more attention to their club outfit, what they are driving, or what someone else is driving more than they do their own pockets. So first things first...you need FOCUS...OK..Goood!

My second tip to get your finances back on track is to WRITE IT DOWN! That's right...write it down ya'll. The same way a personal trainer would tell you to do if you are trying to loose weight. I need you to WRITE IT DOWN! Consider your money Calories and the less calories you eat or spend, the more financial shape you will be in! Makes sense right? So Write IT Down! Keep track of your spending daily all the way to the last penny! I need ya'll to see what areas you can cut back on and what better way to see that then to see it glaring in your face? So WRITE IT DOWN!

The Third tip I will share, is to USE CASH when going out! HUH you say? You heard me...Use cash! I realize some of you want to be balla's or gotta floss in your new outfit that you just bought to look cute in but LEAVE YOUR DEBIT/CREDIT CARD IN THE CAR. It is real easy to be out and about at the bar and after you downed a couple drinks you've bought the homies and the Hoes a round of drinks also. Before you know it, you get the bar tab and it's waaay over what you wanted to spend, but you were having fun so Fuk it right....GTFOHWTBS....Son! You spent all that dough and you still going home alone watching Pastor Kerney Thomas on late night BET...Chillin like a mug!(Some of ya'll may get that reference...so tell your friends).

OK...So those are Three pretty strong tips on Finances that I recommend for everyone. Do I use all those tips personally? Nope, but I'm not the one that is broke...YOU ARE...so GTFOHWTBS....SON! HA! However, I have in the past used each of these techniques. There are more, but I've decided I should sell my knowledge or share them on a one on one basis!

Believe it or not I'm jammin once again to my main man James Taylor's "Whenever I see your smiling face." Loves that song man! I remember those days or shall I say love that feeling of as soon as you see someone your face lights up? Come on yall...I know someone out there feels what I'm saying...Right...Anybody? Buehler? Buehler?.....Sigh. The fact is, LOVE is hard...no longer can you give someone your heart on a piece of paper with a check box that says "Do you like me, YES OR NO." Now a days you have to find out their family history, sex history, Job history, financial history, make sure they have a nice booty, a fat ass, clean criminal record, good parenting skills, not to crazy, decent bone structure, intellectual ability, some type of education, drive, spirituality of matching sorts, do you like their friends, act like a lady but think like a man, caring, kind, independent or dependent depending on who you are, can cook or clean or got enough money to get a maid, Not a gold digger, Trustworthy,...as I take a breath...Should I say more? I'll stop right there...Geez! Let me put that James Taylor on Repeat! I loves when he hit's that High Note! Gotta try that for a Kareoke song! LOL...Ok...Ya'll, I'll give myself a GTFOHWTBS....Son!!

I've been asked many times why I'm not married. The fact is if I wanted to be I'm pretty sure I could be but I can't nor will I ever get married just because it's that "time." The same security that you want to feel with me I want to feel with you! I wanna have that trust in you that you won't lead me wrong and that your eyes are for me. Many women I've been in contact with want that from the guy but they don't offer that back to their man! I can hear some of ya'll sucking your teeth right now but I know when many of ya'll are having issues with your man cuz I start getting text messages and calls when I haven't heard from you in years. Relationships won't always be good Ya'll and many times you are going to disagree! You can't tell me what HE ain't doing right when you in taking that all natural protein drink that you get from one source!(If you don't know ask me by email and I will share). GTFOHWTBS....SON!

In closing, If you see me out and about...give me a big ole smile cuz you never know when I'll see your smiling face again! I'll promise to give you a smile back!

Enjoy Turkey Day folks and More so the time with your family! After all, no mater how dysfunctional we all are....we only get one family!

THE SOCIAL EXPERIMENT.......(NETWORKING THAT IS!!)

Poke me! No really...go on Facebook and Poke me! If you are my friend you will do it. Maybe I'll poke you back! I think out of all the features in the phenomenon we call Facebook that is the only Accessory that I don't understand...So poke me...Please!

Some, well probably all of you have asked me why or how I come up with my blogs. Intro explanation! Well, I write my blog entries every day. Ha...Not physically putting a pen to the pad, or even typing anything, but my mind is taking notes on each of my daily interactions. This way I can blog the way I enjoy, which is once I start writing, I cannot save and come back another day. Everything has to be finished in one sitting. That way I won't forget a thing. So basically what I'm saying is that in one way or the other, all of ya'll are apart of my blog whether it from a conversation we had or any other interactions.

With that being said, it is 5:43am and I can't sleep. Why? Well that's how it is when I have thoughts in my head. Since I've started back(yes started back) writing I know exactly when It's time for a blog. Usually every dream, daydream or thought in my head is a paragraph and eventually if I don't let it all out, my night is shot...so hear I am.

As ya'll can see....well I think most of ya'll can read, the title of my blog is The Social Experiment...Networking that is! Communication, Technology, and just the ways we interact with each other. These days it's almost like we can physically live in each others lives with the click of a button. And most of us do! I mean where else can I keep up with my old classmates that I haven't seen in over 15 years, find an old boo, or keep up with the crazy times that my friends are having in different cities all in the span of 5 minutes? Crazy isn't it! Though it sounds fun...and I could dive into that topic deeper, that's not really what my Social Experiment is about. For ya'll that don't know....this is my blog...so obviously it's about me...DUUUHHHHH!! Geez people...Get with the program.

The Social Experiment is about my daily interactions with folks and my opinions, thoughts, and beliefs. When I was a young lad, one of the goals I had was to get money and bitches. I think it's something most young men want in life. Yes women...all men, and don't let them fool you in telling you otherwise. They may want cars and some may want to be the smartest human beings, but in the end they want money and bitches... cuz after all as men...that's what makes us tick. The only problem with all of that is I had to figure out how to get all of that. I mean it sounds simple enough right? But where's the blue print(reference Jay-z=Money+Bitches)!! Now before I go any further let me use the sensitivity training I've learned and state that the use of the word "bitches" is to bring an urban slang to the blog that will be discussed later. Now...back to the regularly scheduled broadcast...where was I...Oh yeah...Money and Bitches! So as I was young the only thing we knew to do was observe what was around me and talk to the folks I knew to get knowledge! The Key to all things! So you would think the first person I would talk to would be my Pops wouldn't you? Well my pops was married and to all intensive purposes, didn't have money! I mean yeah he did, but not the Luchini I was looking for a that time...And he had 3 crumb Snatchers as he called us! As I grew older I realized what he meant...we ate more than just the crumbs!! Anyways who do I turn to? I chose a variety of things...Folks in the neighborhood, TV, Magazines and eventually peers of my own! Some had money! And some had...yup...Bitches! Stay with me ya'll.

Did I tell ya'll I was a rather corny kid? I mean not that I was goofy or anything, but I used to shy up a bit around women and not till I got to college did I find my true "swag" if that's what you want to call it. I think I did if you read any of my previous blogs. So how did all of my networking pieces...TV, Magazines, and others affect my life? Well, though as I mentioned, my pops didn't have money and he was married, but he was a big part of my life...After all him and my mom were married for 39 years and I'm 35! So the honest to God truth is that every girlfriend I've had over my lifetime I would not of made them my titled "Girlfriend" unless I could see myself marrying them. It's true folks, and still true today! I know it's hard for some of you serial relationship whores to understand, but it's what I feel. Otherwise why would I do what you wanted me to do or make any sacrifices for you? That's right...I wouldn't. As a matter of fact it still pains me that the relationships I've been in didn't work. Don't get your panties in a bunch because it's not that I really give a damn about what you are doing now, but It hurts me when a relationship doesn't work whether given a title or not. There's a lot of time and energy spent and getting to know each other sucks when you are not with that person any longer.

TV, Magazines and the Radio...you can only imagine what I've learned from the media right??...I mean with all the sex tapes that have leaked, Cell phone pics of naked women or just they way the word "Bitch" has come into play....It's shaped my life tremendously. I can remember as I believe I mentioned before when I was young and bought the new Slick Rick tape(Cassette Tape young folks...Look it up)! My mother and father were in the car and wanted to hear what Mr.Slick Rick was all about! Naturally she and my Pops were Furious when they heard the cursing and was going to make me take it back to the store! Luckily for me they chose to talk to me about what was on the tape. I can remember my father asking me the question, "Son, what would you do if someone called your momma a bitch?" My response..."Pops, I'd punch'em in the face cuz my momma ain't a bitch! But there momma might be!" The only thing he could do was shake his head. See folks my theory is that as guys we still think the same throughout life as we did when we were 12 to 13! Seriously...Ask a guy that question...the only difference is that we are more aware of the consequences of our actions so sometimes we choose not to act on them.

Sigh....The last group of "Networking" that we all come in contact with is our peers. Now I could write a book on how basically everyone has shaped my life, but it's been done many times before me. Ya'll I got friends that get money...some that get bitches, but none that really do both....Maybe there's something to that statement! So read it again! I think it's profound because though the two can co-exist, one can and usually WILL hinder the other. Either way I've learned a lot. Some disheartening. I never understood why one of my gf's always wanted a thug...Thugs don't go to school and work legal jobs! I could never figure out why I had to snap on a bitch for her to respect me? I mean really? It always puzzled me why a chick could be out sport fukin everyone and then meet me and want me to date them! I sit and think sometimes why women think me and my friends DON'T communicate about who we've been with and try to play the both of us? And it's always interesting to see folks getting married just because it's Time? What's that all about? I could go on and on but I think you get my drift of what I mean hear. We are all different and were raised in different ways and in many ways each day have our own social experiments going on. Some of ya'll hopefully have learned from past mistakes and some of yall have yet to see the light.

Fortunately this blog topic is an ongoing experiment and I hope it to continue for many many years. Oh and I no longer wish for Money and Bitches as I've learned how to make money and "Bitches" are worthless. A woman is what a man needs.

Now before I go I will say this. I've been blessed and I know this. I can't say I'm the most religious person in the world, but I do feel there is more to life then we know. Last year at this time I had a conversation with one of my buddies that has sense passed on and we spoke about the Lord. Was a strange conversation, but I was in an empty place in my life. Not saying I didn't have "Stuff," but I felt like there was more...I felt alone. Well after a year later maybe I'm paying attention. Not saying I'm gung ho, but It has caught my attention a little more.

Anyways, What is your Social networking experience?

THE SILENCE IS OVER!!!

What's up everyone. It's been a long time since you heard a Peep from me. For those of you that know me know it's been a more than challenging year. I lost my father in March and one of my best friends in May, so needless to say a lot has been going on. With that being said there were times where I didn't want to blog again because I felt like I was letting to many people in my life and at other times I needed to let the thoughts outta my head. As you can see what I eventually chose.

So Just to recap things and also make changes, usually I pick a certain topic and discuss it throughout the blog. I make my writings fairly short and vague to open it up for commentary and at the end I say hate it or hype it! Well scratch all that. It's been a long time since I've written, a lot of changes have happened and frankly I'm writing for my benefit. So if you don't mind a few curse words and have an open mind...Enjoy....Cuz I GO HARD IN THE INK! (pronounced ANK...for all you non Rap folks. Reference Wacka Flacka)

First topic of discussion is Ahhh yes! LIL WEEZY is getting out of Jail tomorrow. It's a national Black holiday! For all y'all that don't know, every black person gets to skip work, smoke some trees, and pop bottles all day tomorrow. OK, now for all those that live in reality, why do we celebrate the activities of ignorance??!! I mean don't get me wrong, I'll pump a lil T.I, Laugh with Gucci, and bob my head to the lyrical genius of Lil Wayne, but when did it become "cool" to be a drug addict? A Criminal? A Thug? Furthermore, why is it that rich kids want to act like they don't have money and run the streets? Where I'm from (the country for everyone that don't already know) we did dirt because we wanted to eat good, dress good, ride in the fly rides and get girls. I don't understand how you go to a life of crime when you are born with those things basically in your own crib? Makes no sense at all! As I'm typing this blog I received a message from my homie telling me how a lady he was talking to shared how her daughter doesn't go for the Rapper/Entertainers, but she likes the Professional Ball Players. :( Can you say who is the stupider (yes I said stupider) the mom or the daughter! Fact is if you act like a ho you gonna get treated like one! Fellas...If a chick tells you she screwed or wanted to screw a guy because of who he was...Watch out...there's a pattern there! Beware! Ok enough about that because that would be a hater move. Just be who you are...don't get mad when you get treated like you are acting. The worst thing in the world for a guy is to have his Daughter or Niece be a complete jerk off for some dude that don't give a fuk.

Moving along...why is America such a Microwave society? Come'On Man! This election is killing me! Did you really think Obama could make a difference in 2 years? It takes longer than that and the folks that voted him in Failed him in the mid-term, which are just as much if not more important for "change." It takes a year to get the folks you want in office and the second year you are trying to pass new legislation that the other folks just dick around with keeping Bills from Passing. So my question is this? For the folks that make under say $70,000 a year, why didn't you go out and vote? The fact of the matter is that it affects you more because programs will be cut,you will be taxed higher, school programs will become non existent, and furthermore you will be directly affected by the Health Insurance Bill. I don't understand what folks are thinking? And even more so, Sarah Palin? Really? The direction the USA is going in doesn't have a positive outlook!

Overall I believe Humans have their priorities all messed up! We are worried to much about other peoples reality, and not enough about our own. When are we going to recognize that we are not that HOT! We all have faults, but we must improve? I know I have my own issues, but I'll be damned if I'm going to worry about someone elses before I deal with my own! The fact is we love to see a train wreck! So when we tune into Discovery Health and see the 700lb man or look at the Kardashians to see who's screwing who, we love it. I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy these things...Just saying WAAAAAKKKKEEEE UUUUPPPPP....like Spike Lee.(Everyone doesn't get that reference!)

Love TKO

For Blog 10

more about "Teddy Pendergrass - Love TKO", posted with vodpod

Blog 11: It's My World...Ya'll Just Live In It

YES, I know it as been a while since we last spoke! But Hey, I figured by this time everyone will have slumped back in to their daily routines and forgot all about your New Years Resolutions! If I'm wrong say "WORD." Exactly...you know I'm right!

Anyways, I've gotten some dirty looks over my last couple blogs but you have to realize, I was sick and tired of all these posts about how bad things are for black women. It's not easy for anyone and furthermore, nothing worthwhile comes easy! That's all I'm going to say about that because today I want to talk about the most important thing in any relationship both business and personal. What is it you ask? Why that's easy...drum roll pulease!.......COMMUNICATION! Or shall I say the understanding of what's being communicated!

I sit here in my office and I think about Tiger Woods, I think about Senator John Edwards, Bill Clinton, some friends of both sexes and co-workers new and old. I think about "situations" that they put themselves in, or myself for that matter and how it all really transpired. And you know what my conclusion was? There was a MAJOR Communication Breakdown, or Lack there of! Let that seep in for a second! Ok now let's discuss! As human beings we are all emotional creatures! We spend our whole lives searching for Love, Happiness, etc. Sometimes we find these NEEDS in our careers, sometimes we find those NEEDS in other People. At any rate, In order to get those things you have to be able to communicate effectively!(Big Problem as most cannot). Even our Great Nations Politicians, whom are supposed to be the best motivators and communicators are full of shit. If you don't believe me, tune into the John Stewart show and watch the debacle! These guys spin more words then the Tea Cups ride at the State fair. But the Scary thing is folks believe them and do exactly what they say. It Truly is an Art form! To lead and Motivate people thru communication! I mean not to offend anyone but I'm about to name a few great communicators...Jesus, the Debil himself, Presidents, and hell Bishop Don Juan the Pimp! Yes, all these folks communicated effectively enough to motivate folks to do what they wanted them to do or believe what they wanted them to believe.

Now let's get down to what ya'll really want to know! In Relationships communication between Men and Women looks Vastly different! Like night and day! I've personally held conversations with young ladies to express how I felt on a subject thinking they totally "GET IT", to only realize either that night or much later that they have not only have no clue, but they totally changed my thought to mean something totally different.(Guys and gals know what I mean on this). But you see Communication is essential! Communication is soooo important that your lively hood truly depends on it! Now as I mentioned, we are all emotional creatures. And these emotions are what clouds how affective we communicate. These emotions are what can lead us to making the right decision...or lead us straight to yup...HELL! To all my business folks, have you ever been talking to a client trying to explain your product or service and you key in on his emotional keys! You know, they lay back and cross their arms, or constantly looking at their watch? Tells you to get to the point right! Of course! But what about personal relationships? Communication here is sooo difficult because no one wants to be the first person to put their feelings out there in the open to be stepped on! Say Word! I mean picture this..You saying I love you baby...and she says Ditto or aw that's sweet or yeah I like you too! But on the flip side, if someone tells you that and you try not to hurt their feelings so you tell them you also Love them! Can you say EW! I'll say it for you...EW!! Personally I don't think what Tiger and all the rest of the folks in the news or not in the news are right, but I can understand the emotion that comes into play! You think Tiger could of went up to Elle and said hey...I want to screw other chicks and I want you to be involved? hmmm...probably not for most folks. However I do know of a few women that have done that for their men and the relationship still didn't work! Fact is sometimes folks just wanna Get it in! Not much you can do about that.
I'm in Sales and I realize that the worst someone can tell you is NO, but that NO still has an affect on your psychy! I'm not a push business man! Nor am I pushy in personal relationships...Either you want my "service" or you don't. But I do expect in both Business and personal for there to be a conversation on why Myself, or my product isn't suitable. This is the time where you can reconfirm why your product or service is the best or if you should try a different brand. At this time is where you can break down the pros and cons. This is where true relationships are made because everything is on the table! I call it the "come to jesus" meeting!

At any rate, after my last blog ya'll thought I was bitter. I don't feel like so, but maybe I am a little. I'm bitter over the fact that relationships in personal and business are hard, but that's the life we choose to live and I've taken more than one TKO(RIP Teddy P).

Since all the women have been sharing what they look for in a man, I'll take a leap and share what I look for in women. Sigh...so not in any particular order.

1. Usually the women I deal with are quite intelligent. Normally have advanced degrees or have been considered to be brainiacs by someone at sometime!(Though advanced degree not a requirement).
2. I LOVE the backside of a woman! Doesn't have to be big either. Like the song verse says "Kit Kat or Midget if that Ass Phat I'll break her off!" Fact is if you are a woman...I have looked at your ass. But most guys have! Just a fact.
3. I can't stand a whiny woman! Sorry ladies...this gets you no where with me.
4. If I fucks with you I could care less what you are wearing out and about! I'm more concerned with you not what you are wearing(in private that's another story).
5. I love good conversation. If I can't talk to you I can't be around you. And you soon will bore me.
6. I do like women that can do for themselves. Independence is cool for me
7. You have to be able to function around different social circles. I have a variety of acquaintances from down right thugs to millionaires. Can you function around both? Are you versatile?
8. Would you be a good parent? Shit if something goes down I can't have you wrecking my nerves!
9. How do I feel when I'm around you? I'm a kinesthetic! I feel you! I really do..
10. Can I tell you anything? Are you my friend?

Ok so I guess I should say like the rappers, this is the realist shit I ever wrote! LOL.

Hope you enjoyed it, but as always if you didn't it doesn't really matter because It's MY World, Ya'll Just live In it! Hype it if you like it, Hate on it if you don't!